Some women place a lot of significance on their birth expectations. And it's hard to look at the baby as a way of getting over a birth that didn't go the way a mother wanted because, presumably, her expectations included both the healthy baby and the birth she wished for. Healthy baby or not, part of the desired outcome has still been lost. My advice? Don't judge her or assume that she's ungrateful for your healthy child. It would have helped for her to be more flexible in her birth expectations, but what happened happened. Listen to her and don't dismiss her loss. If her feelings of dissatisfaction don't subside in a few months after the birth, or if they deepen, you might suggest that she talk to a therapist.
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