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Q: My partner and I are taking our first extended vacation together--a two-week trip overseas. He's been planning every second of the trip. I just want to explore and discover things. I'm worried this is going to cause a huge fight. Help!

Couple looking at a map together.

Angela says...
As a planner myself, I can totally understand where he's coming from. But my beloved is like you and wants to spontaneously discover things. So I give him that time since it's our trip and not my trip. Is there a compromise you can reach ahead of time? I bet he'd be willing to build in cushion time around the schedule if he knew it was to enjoy gelato on a sidewalk cafe, a glass of vino in the piazza or get frisky somewhere naughty.

Derek says...
Let me ask: Who is responsible for organizing the travel brochures and booking the flights? I know if those tasks were left up to me, every vacation would consist of short–distance road trips. So, I leave the itinerary to Angela, because a) she's organized; b) I can't be bothered; and c) I don't want to have to hear "What are we doing today?" for the entire trip. If your partner is the driving force behind this escape from reality, give it to them. Besides, that schedule isn't bulletproof. If you drop a "Well, that doesn't sound terribly interesting" comment once in a while and suggest you take a drive for the day to explore, you'll be amazed how easily you'll get what you want.

Smug Marrieds, Derek Chezzi & Angela PacienzaHappily married university sweethearts Angela and Derek live in a leafy neighborhood with their two super-cute kids and cranky but lovable cat, Fred. They are the envy of all their friends.

Tweet them with your relationship quandaries @smugmarrieds.