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Q: Spring is like wardrobe limbo land; there’s still a chill in the air, but the sun is warmer. Any ideas on how to dress appropriately and chicly?
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What Not To Wear Ever

Oh my, what have we here? It appears to be Kate Upton frolicking on the beach in a cathedral veil and a (wait for it...) bridal bikini.

Designed by Sports Illustrated model Chrissy Teigen for Beach Bunny swimwear, these bridal bikinis are perfect for... what? A beach wedding for extroverted never-nudes? Your wedding night? But that's weird because who wears swimwear to bed? The honeymoon? But by that time you're no longer a bride, and there is something seriously distressing about a married woman wearing "Bride" bikini bottoms and a matching veil to the swim-up bar.

These heinous, useless bikinis belong in the trash heap of What Not to Wear Ever, alongside stirrup pants and platform sneakers.

p.s. It's interesting to note that the designer, who will wed singer John Legend in Italy in September, is wearing a Vera Wang wedding dress, not a bridal bikini. 'Nuff said. [BUZZFEED]

Posted by Kate Drummond
2013-07-26, 11:35:08

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