You spend most of your life behaving—stopping at red lights, paying your income tax, replacing the empty toilet-paper roll. But sometimes, you just gotta let it rip and do things you know would make your momma give you a timeout. What better place for you and your beloved to allow your wicked sides to show than on foreign soil where you’re among strangers. Here are 2’s picks of sinfully fun vacation spots, each with mild, wild and extreme options so you can be as bad as you wanna be.
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
As its ad campaign says, “What happens here, stays here.” And what happens in Vegas is a smorgasbord of the seven deadly sins. Lust? Greed? Gluttony? This is a city that unapologetically serves them up in ample portions. From blackjack dealers in thong bikinis to 99-cent shrimp cocktails, Sin City is full of temptations.
Mild: For kicking your libido up a few notches, couples should make sure to check out Cirque du Soleil’s ubersexy Zumanity at the New York-New York Hotel, an R-rated show that features near-nude acrobats.
Wild: Vegas is infamous for its plethora of topless musicals. Jiggle-free showgirls dance, skillfully poised on impossibly high heels. So girls, leave your jealousy behind; after all, it doesn’t matter where he gets his appetite as long as he eats at home. Another option: Let him enjoy shows like Folies Bergere and Crazy Girls while you go to the Excalibur for Thunder from Down Under, an all-male revue of Aussies with impeccable pecs.
Extreme: Trick or treat? There’s a bit of both at the annual Fetish & Fantasy Halloween Ball, a notorious event ranked high on international Top 10 lists. Witches and goblins party alongside dominatrixes, dancers in schoolgirl uniforms, and those wearing nothing but Saran wrap and a smile (please note: no nudity allowed).
2. Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
This small town is located at the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja-California peninsula, between the turquoise waters of the Paciﬁc and the Sea of Cortez. Its picturesque setting, with beautiful beaches and excellent whale watching, is a magnet for party-seeking couples because of the sheer abundance of bars, clubs and restaurants.
Mild: To get a jump-start on a night of partying, some couples opt for a booze cruise. The use of snorkelling equipment is covered in the price (about $45), but some folks are there just for the unlimited drinks and friendly shipmates.
Wild: Since 1984, hordes of tourists have frolicked through the doors of the Giggling Marlin—many of whom have likely sampled the infamous house drink, a secret blend of liquors and fruit juices, called “Skip and Go Naked.” The establishment’s other claim to infamy is hanging patrons upside down by their feet à la freshly caught marlin while a tequila shooter is mixed in their mouths. Sounds ﬁshy to us.
Extreme: If the Giggling Marlin is where you go to warm up for a night of partying, El Squid Roe is where you plant yourself for the evening until closing time at 4 a.m. Waitstaff are equipped with tanks of tequila, and they squirt shots into the thirsty mouths of customers. Table dancing is encouraged, and the main-level dance ﬂoor is surrounded by three ﬂoors of onlookers who gawk at the bumping, grinding and dirty dancing below.
3. Amsterdam, Holland
Drugs, sex and rock ’n’ roll—it’s pretty much all legal in Amsterdam, Europe’s famous playpen of iniquity. Naughty coexists with the tame here in perfect harmony. Windmills, tulip ﬁelds, the Anne Frank House and Van Gogh Museum offer an interesting contrast to the red-light district and sex ’n’ drugs tourism.
Mild: In a place where sexual discussions don’t raise eyebrows, it’s not surprising there are museums devoted to carnal pursuits. At the Sex Museum, there’s an extensive collection of artifacts and erotic art, plus an interactive area where you can sit on a seven-foot-long vibrating chair to watch a racy ﬂick.
Wild: At a coffee shop like La Tertulia, there’s freshly baked hash brownies for sale. At other establishments, magic mushrooms are brewed into a tea, and sold fresh or dried. Again, it’s perfectly legal in the land of Heineken. Now we’re not advocating drug use here, but if you happen to be one of those couples who are curious to experiment every so often, Amsterdam is the place to indulge hassle-free.
Extreme: The city’s liberal views on sex mean it is served up in many forms for all tastes, including at live sex shows. At the Theater Casarosso, the experience is said to be of a higher quality. The venue is clean and well lit, and the performers put on a show that is choreographed yet sexy.
4. Ibiza, Spain
This small island off the coast of Spain has catered to the hip and horny since the 1960s, when it was a hangout for hippies. Ibiza’s clubs are legendary and their DJs have an international following. The toned and tanned ﬂock here year-round for some Mediterranean sunshine (on average 300 days per year) and for the rock-steady beats of its nightlife.
Mild: Amnesia is a club that offers good, clean fun. On Espuma nights, the dance ﬂoor is ﬂooded with foam that can swallow you whole. But when the action gets too hot and heavy, dry-ice machines rev up and shoot blasts of cold air through the ﬂoor vents.
Wild: Bigger is better, at least at Privilege, the world’s largest nightclub. You and your sweetie could be among ten thousand writhing dancers. The most talked about theme night happens on Monday with an event called “Manumission”; it’s raunch ’n’ roll at its most notorious, where anything goes and does, from transvestites on trapezes to dwarves peeling potatoes to girl-on-girl wrestling.
Extreme: On home turf, the chances of a guy getting his gal to come with him to a strip club are close to nil, but on this fantasy island it may be within the realm of possibility. The Blue Rose is a popular upscale strip club that is welcoming to men, women and couples. It’s classy more than sassy, and the shows are saucy not sleazy. Maybe worth a try?
5. Koh Phangan, Thailand
Located in the Gulf of Thailand, Koh Phangan is home to spectacular beaches and gorgeous full moons that inspire werewolf-like behaviour in its visitors. Though parts of Thailand were hit by 2004's tsunami, this region is open for business.
Mild: Prep your body and soul for the island’s wild nightlife. Things get steamy quickly at the Wat Pho Herbal & Sauna Baths. Lie by the wood ﬁre and breathe in the fragrant scents of lemongrass and other natural herbs.
Wild: Ever since you saw Angelina’s and Justin’s tattoos, you’ve probably been thinking, “I’ve gotta get me some ink.” On the east coast, take the plunge in one of the tattoo parlours near the popular twin beaches of Thong Nai Pan and Thong Nai Pan Noi. It’s the thing to do.
Extreme: Thai people are among the world’s most hospitable, and they know how to throw a kickin’ beach party. Sociable types from around the world gather each month on the island of Koh Phangan to dance and drink at legendary Full Moon parties, which bring together thousands of moon gazers. The mood is magical as the beach is lit with Christmas lights, bonﬁres and glow sticks once the sun goes down. Refreshment comes from cocktails sold by the bucket and dips in the sea. After a couple hours of sleep, partyers start all over again by 9 a.m.
6. Port Stephens, Australia
Aussies have truly earned their reputation for being free spirited. And their training ground is partly responsible. Take, for example, Samurai Beach in Port Stephens (New South Wales), about a three-hour drive north of Sydney. This famous stretch of white sand attracts surfer boys as well as those who like to show off their “long boards” and their “short boards”—the nudist set, that is.
Mild: Call it liquid courage if you like. Port Stephens has a number of small wineries that offer tours and tastings. After a few glasses, you may be more likely to shed your inhibitions and your clothes on Samurai Beach, regarded as one of the best of the nude variety.
Wild: Put on your darkest sunglasses and peek with discretion at the range of sun-kissed bodies strolling the beach. These nudists—er, excuse me, “naturists” as they like to be called—swim, bike, hike, and drive their ATVs on the beach, letting it all hang out. If you don’t want to strip down, you can opt to go “textile,” which is naturist-speak for staying clothed.
Extreme: For the athletic-minded, November is the time to visit. It’s mid-summer down under, and the temp is positively balmy—ideal conditions for the popular Samurai Beach Nude Carnival. This annual event features the best nude girl and guy contests, relay races, nude surﬁng and nude volleyball.
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